Tuesday, October 19, 2010

An insightful and informative cultural analysis (well, kinda)

Fabulous things about America

  •        Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups. Nom nom.
  •      Cutesy furry things. My neighborhood is home to myriad adorable squirrels, deer, skunks, chipmunks and groundhogs. It feels very much like that scene from Snow White.
  •      Academic freedom. I’m independently considering three different and entirely unrelated thesis projects and I can take my time to evaluate and explore their merits before I decide- fantastic!
  •     Car-share programs. Such a great, sustainable idea, but don’t think I’ve ever seen one at home.
  •        Pumpkin in a can. It might take slightly longer to justify this one, but believe me it’s awesome.
  •      Enthusiastic friendliness. I kind of like it when shopkeepers call me ‘sugar’ and tell me to have a wonderful/fabulous/super-dooper day. Bonus points for ‘sugar bun’.
  •     Fractal broccoli. This stuff totally blows my mind. Not strictly American but again, I’ve never seen it at home.
  •     Bagels! Oh, bagels. Yes, I have noticed that half the entries on this list are food. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of horrifying fake cheese to balance out the good stuff.

Odd, ridiculous or otherwise disheartening things about America

  •        Cheque books. It’s 2010, people! It’s the future now! I can pay for coffee with my cell phone but I still have to pay my rent with a scribbled bit of paper?
  •     The Imperial measurement system. Continuing to use measurement standards calibrated to random body parts of dead royalty is never going to be a sound idea.
  •      The cereal isle in the average supermarket. It’s generally ¾ artificially colored, sugar-frosted, uber-refined flakes of god-knows-what supplemented with tiny novelty marshmallows. The sheer volume on sale leads me to believe people actually feed this to their children.
  •        Pronouncing ‘niche’ as ‘nitch’. Is there a T? IS THERE?
  •        Hershey’s chocolate. Has this odd aftertaste that I just can’t place- leather? Bacon bits?

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